When I was a kid, I’d remember not really having any self-esteem or knowing what it meant. With a name like Veltis, it didn’t take long for the other kids to realize I was different and boy did they have a ball beating me up and making fun of me all up until my senior year in High School. It’s bizarre that I turned out to become at one point of my life a social butterfly, but that was me as a kid. I was a painfully shy introvert with a vivid imagination. I was a dreamer and anything I wanted could come true in my fantasy world, because somehow I processed that the real world had fewer possibilities for me to achieve.
That all changed after High School, but every now and then, the feelings of low self-worth creep around and I’m that little kid again. It probably doesn’t make sense why it comes back, but it does. It hurts a lot to feel that way and sometimes it is a difficult feeling to shake.
I know I am not the only one. So to help us, I have compiled a few things we could remember to keep my self-confidence boosted and ready for battle with the real world.
1. Be selfish. Don’t be afraid to be selfish when it comes to your personal space; soul, mind, and body. Self-esteem comes from the inside out. Focus on yourself where it counts like your feelings, health, and the way you are treated by others. Take time out of your day to take care of yourself. And don’t be afraid to say “no” to someone asking for something that is going to get in the way of your needs! Self-esteem doesn’t mean everyone else’s-esteem.
2. Realize your self –importance. Every life is important. Humans have the unique ability to touch and affect each other even after death. Realize you can make a difference in the world. So many humans have done so in the past and so can you. You are made up of the same stuff. You are important to the world and it’s future!
3. Be positive. It takes very hard work to be positive. Have a positive attitude. Think positive thoughts. Do positive things. It won’t be easy to be positive because the world will consistently challenge you. Be obsessive about being positive. Some people think that putting a positive spin on a negative situation is a way of not facing reality. Reality is reality. There is nothing that can change that, but a positive attitude is what will allow you to walk through the fire because you have to. You still have to live in reality, but whatever Jedi mind tricks you use to get through life, use them. Give yourself the mental advantage.
4. Identify the positive things in your life. It’s not easy to see the positive things in yourself or in your life when you are feeling bad. But if you are alive and able to read this right now, that in itself is remarkably wonderful! Count your blessings and be grateful for what you have on the simplest level. Being thankful allows you to remember your self-worth.
5. Visualize your potential. From age 0 to 99 (or more) you can do amazing things. Never forget the endless possibilities of your potential and go for them!
6. Do what you are good at. I know you’ve heard the saying that everyone is good at something, but it’s hard to remember that or even see that when you are feeling bad about yourself. But it is true, everyone is good at something so whatever it is, no matter how small, you should be proud and do it as best as you can.
7. Do what you love. If you are still looking for your passion in life, keep searching. Try new things. Once you know what you love, try with all of your might to become an expert at it. Enjoying your passions and excelling at them will make your confidence soar.
8. Always strive for self-improvement. No matter how much we know, there is always something new to learn. Never, be too proud to learn because it can only make us greater.
9. Be fearless. Go after the things you want in your life without fear. Tell yourself to be fearless every day.
Don’t:
o Focus on the negative things in your life. This could be anything… Thinking about negative things will paralyze you. Do not think about negative things.
o Use the word “can’t”. It should no longer be in your vocabulary.
o Don’t remember. Have a short memory about life’s let-downs and disasters. You aren’t going to forget the pain, but rehashing the feelings of being let-down in the past will only introduce fear into your present life. No memory, no fear. This is definitely a mind-trick that you are controlling. Control makes you powerful.
o Listen negativity or anyone who says you can’t do something. Remember, can’t is no longer in your vocabulary.
o Surround yourself with negative people that make you feel insignificant.
o Forget that you are important. (Self-esteem = self-importance)
Additional small things you can do to build your confidence:
o Smile. Practice in the mirror. Smiles are positive infections you can spread to others.
o Good posture.
o Good hygiene. You’ll feel comfortable around others without fear.
o Work out. Gets your heart flow pumping positive endorphins, gives you a sense of accomplishment, and allows you to release your pain.
o Dance. Music is wonderful therapy allowing your body to express itself.
o Get a massage.
o Challenge your limits. (Bragging rights)
Good luck!
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